The Reminiscence of love

“The Past is lived and the Present is felt.”

Some love survives in the absence of stories, just in the form of memories.

“The Reminiscence of love” presents a brief visualization of the love that got lost in memories.

And there she was, dressed in an orange bridal suit. As elegant and composed as ever. There was a familiar smile on her face which kept him staring at her. The stage, whose beauty she enhanced, perfectly complemented her. The wedding ring on her finger, shining; reflected her happiness. He always had dreamt her this way. Back then, many a times both of them even discussed about how this very day, that meant so much to them will look like. Now, looking at the picture of her sitting on stage was mesmerizing. For him, it was as good as reality.

Yes! She was engaged. Not with him though!!

With whom? How? Why?

May be these questions and the answers to them matter no more. They are insignificant now. She’s gone. She has left, leaving lots of memories behind for him, to live a happy and joyful marital life.

They weren’t in a relationship. They were just together. Not for benefits, but just for the sake of giving time to their friendship, just to see if they can go beyond it, just to see if things can work out and if something can bind them together.

But it didn’t. At some point, things came to a standstill. She moved on. She settled abroad. Years passed, their friendship moved through stages of crests and troughs. A couple of years later, she got committed to a smart guy whom she found suitable enough to spend the rest of her life with.

The moment she told him about her commitment, it detached him from himself, creating a void in him. It made him realize that subconsciously, he was living just with a hope. A hope for a better future. A hope where they can be together forever.

His heart broke like the scattered raindrops which never come together. Even if these raindrops make an attempt to join, they actually flow downwards and fall apart. His heart was numb. Thoughtless, lifeless.

Later, he thought to himself that maybe they weren’t destined to go this far. Maybe it was his fault. May be it was less of “him” in “them”. Maybe it was more of “feeling” the love than “expressing” it. May be he took it for granted rather than trying to make the love special. It made him feel guilty for whatever happened or for whatever could have happened but didn’t. It made him cry.

But today things don’t matter anymore. She calls him to ask whether or not he is alright? She asks why they don’t talk the way they used to? Why doesn’t he behave the way he used to? Where is their friendship lost? Where is he lost? Why doesn’t he attend the functions of their common friends? She asks many questions. But as mentioned before, things don’t matter now. He hopes that in due course of time she will realize that such questions don’t have an impact on him anymore. They don’t need to be answered. They are self-explanatory.

Soon she will understand that they have to live different lives with beautiful futures and a past which is better forgotten.

She has to accept that between them it will never be the same again. He won’t blame her for the fact that their future won’t be the same as their past was but he has to move on . It will be tough, it will be hard but it has to be done.

He also understands that this phase will be just for some time. Things will change and people will accept the past. The talks will became rare, and gradually, end and this end will be understood by both.

Perhaps, in future they will be exchanging smiles once again. When they will meet somewhere, they might even exchange warm hugs as well. Occasional talks and laughing on the past will also be a part of future. But today, distancing is the most logical solution. 

On his laptop, seeing her engagement picture on her profile makes him feel happy. He wishes the best for her. He has his life ahead and regretting about what he has lost doesn’t seem to be a fitting thing to do. But one fact will stay with him forever, the fact that unknowingly and definitely unwillingly, he lost her.

@ramta jogi

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